There's The Rub : Good and bad
Conrado de Quiros email@example.com
Inquirer News Service
THIS piece was sent to me by my friend Billy Esposo in the Internet. It's the good and bad about Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo's government. It goes:
Good: Spent more than P600 million on road-building. Bad: It was just one road. Good: Killed Marcos henchman and arch-opportunist Blas Ople by forcing him to do real work. Bad: Declared his corpse a national hero. Good: Magnanimously went out of its way to help a family that was in serious trouble. Bad: It was the Lopez family. Good: Successfully redistributed incomes. Bad: Nobody knows where the incomes were redistributed to. Good: Won the war against terrorists. Bad: The terrorists don't know it. Good: Made the country recall Diosdado Macapagal's greatness. Bad: There was nothing to recall. Good: Showed extraordinary compassion. Bad: To Joseph Estrada and Imelda Marcos. Good: Fought corruption. Bad: Corruption won. Good: Was the first administration in over 30 years to successfully invite a US president for a state visit. Bad: It was George W. Bush.
I thought I'd add a bit more to it:
Good: George Bush Jr. toasted Ms Arroyo's adherence to democracy. Bad: George Bush Sr. toasted Ferdinand Marcos' adherence to democracy. Good: Ms Arroyo and George W. Bush love democracy. Bad: It's equality they hate.
Good: Remembered Jose Rizal's death. Bad: Forgot Jose Rizal's life. Good: Is a great admirer of Jose Rizal. Bad: Is a great admirer only of Jose Rizal's height. Good: Said on Jose Rizal's grave that, being the source of this country's divisiveness, if she ran for president, this country would see no end of it. Bad: Didn't believe it. Good: Said on Jose Rizal's grave that if she ran for president, this country would have "never-ending divisiveness." Bad: Forgot to add after "ran for president," "and won."
Good: Launched a massive employment program. Bad: Hiring people to put up billboards and posters that said, "Vote Ms Arroyo." Good: Launched a massive cleanliness program. Bad: Having street sweepers sweep off posters of Fernando Poe Jr., Raul Roco, Panfilo Lacson and Eduardo Villanueva from walls during the campaign. Good: Launched a massive information drive. Bad: Through Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Office and Philippine Amusement and Gaming Corp. campaign ads about herself.
Good: Has one of the most IT-literate populations in the world. Bad: Still conducts elections by ballot box. Good: Has an electoral body that knows its arithmetic well. Bad: Particularly "dagdag" [padding] and "bawas" [shaving]. Good: Has two of the longest-serving experts on electoral procedure. Bad: Ronaldo Puno and Virgilio Garcillano. Good: Has an electoral body that gets the election results to provincial canvassers faster than any of its counterparts in the world. Bad: Well before Election Day. Good: Other electoral bodies get to know the results of elections three hours after the polling booths close. Bad: The Commission on Elections gets to know the results of elections three months before the polling booths open. (This reminds me of our advantage over other police forces in the world. Other police forces have a response time to crime of from 5 to 15 minutes. Ours has zero seconds. A crime happens, they're instantly there.)
Good: Has great faith in God's ability to work miracles. Bad: God has a Visayan accent, and responds to the call, "Hello, Garci." Good: God is all-powerful, all-knowing, and invisible. Garci is all-powerful, all-knowing and invisible. Good: Admitted to being the voice on the tape. Bad: Thinks it is a recording of "I Did It My Way." (Well, it is.) Good: Confessed to the worst electoral crime of all. Bad: Is her own judge, jury and exonerator. Good: Endured the supreme sacrifice of exiling her husband to God-knows-where at the height of "Hello Garci" scandal. Bad: Enjoyed (along with her husband) the supreme bliss of exiling her husband to God-knows-where.
Good: Enjoys the counsel of people who converse with God. Bad: God makes himself known through people with bad sartorial taste. Good: Wants to unite the country. Bad: Believes the country is Joseph Estrada, Imelda Marcos, and herself. Good: Marcos once said in jest, "History will be my judge, but just to be sure I'll write the history myself." Bad: Might as well say, in all seriousness: "The rule of law will prevail, but just to be sure, I will be the law -- with help from Villaraza et al." Good: Is a good Christian. Bad: Believes Christian charity begins at home. Good: Is loved conditionally by her family and friends. Bad: Is hated unconditionally by everybody else.
Good: Remembers the 10 Commandments. Bad: Forgot the "not" in them.
Good: "I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt not put strange gods before me." Bad: "I am the Lady thy president, thou shalt not put genuine election results before me." Good: "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain." Bad: "God put me here." Good: "Remember to keep holy the Sabbath Day." Bad: "Today is a good day to lie." Good: "Honor thy father and thy mother." Bad: See above: Build a P600 million road for father. Good: "Thou shalt not kill." Bad: Don't resign, let the streets run with blood; alternatively, believe in George W's pal, Pat Robertson. Good: "Thou shalt not commit adultery." Bad: Ask Jose Pidal. Good: Thou shalt not steal. Bad: Ask Jose Pidal. Good: Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. Bad: Ask Acsa Ramirez. Good: "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife." Bad: Fine with the neighbor's husband. Good: "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods." Bad: The nation is not my neighbor.
Good: Constantly talks to God. Bad: In front of a mirror.